Gender reveals are an exciting time for expectant parents and their families. When I was having my children determining the baby’s gender was not as accurate as it is today. My husband and I chose to be surprised at delivery. During the time in between my children’s births and today’s gender reveals I admit to feeling that the joy of the whole family finding out together was missing. I am glad to see a communal celebration of welcoming a new addition to the family has returned. My concern is with the crying older sibling I see in many social media posts. Unfortunately, it is a reflection of a common parenting misstep, giving a child a choice when there isn’t one.
In video after video, I watch parents ask their young child if they want a brother or a sister as if they had a choice or power over the gender. When it is not the child’s choice they are devastated, often bursting into tears. The parents are bewildered at the child’s reaction to not getting what they want, or sadly find humor in their child’s frustration. Although their child may actually have a preference, parents need to explain clearly that the gender of their sibling is something the child nor the parents have control over, it is not a choice. A choice should not have been offered.
Are there times when you are offering your child a choice when there really isn’t one? Are you creating power struggles? More in Part 2…..stay posted.
Copyright 2017 © Michele Fortier
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